Making Space for Pain: How Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Can Help
Adapted from post contributed by Sonya Connelly, Community Outreach Coordinator
When we experience pain or physical discomfort, the sensation itself is only part of what we may experience.
Our minds can quickly add thoughts, fears, judgments, and predictions:
“Something is wrong.”
“This is going to get worse.”
“What if this is serious?”
These thoughts are understandable. When something hurts, our brains naturally try to make sense of what is happening and protect us from harm. But sometimes the story we tell ourselves about pain can add another layer of distress to an already difficult experience.
Mindfulness and self-compassion offer another way of relating to pain.
Rather than ignoring pain or trying to make it disappear, mindfulness invites us to notice what is happening in the present moment. We can practice separating physical sensations from fearful interpretations and respond to ourselves with greater curiosity, acceptance, and kindness.
These practices do not mean that pain is “all in your head.” Pain is real, and new, severe, persistent, or concerning pain deserves appropriate medical attention. Mindfulness and self-compassion can simply offer additional tools for navigating the experience.
Creating Space Between Pain and the Story About Pain
When pain is present, it can be helpful to notice the difference between the physical sensation and the thoughts we have about that sensation.
Here are a few ways mindfulness can help:
Notice the specific sensation.
Instead of thinking only, “I’m in pain,” try noticing what you are actually experiencing. Is there tingling, pulsing, pressure, warmth, tightness, aching, or another sensation? Breaking the experience down into smaller pieces can help us stay connected to the present moment rather than becoming overwhelmed by the whole experience.
Observe without judgment.
Notice physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions without immediately labeling them as good or bad. You do not have to fight the sensation or criticize yourself for having a difficult day.
Create some distance.
Pain can easily capture our full attention. Try gently shifting your attention to your breathing or to another part of your body that feels neutral or comfortable. This does not make the pain disappear, but it can create a little more psychological space around it.
Practice acceptance and self-compassion.
Acceptance does not mean liking pain or giving up on treatment. It means acknowledging what is happening right now without adding unnecessary struggle. Try breathing gently and offering yourself the same patience and kindness you would offer someone you care about.
Reframe pain as information.
Pain can be an important signal from the body. While it should not automatically be interpreted as a sign of danger, it is also important not to dismiss concerning symptoms. When appropriate, we can practice viewing a sensation as information to notice and respond to rather than immediately assuming the worst.
Four Simple Practices to Try
The next time you notice pain or physical discomfort, try one of these brief practices.
1. 4-6-8 Breathing
Breathe in for four counts, hold for six, and slowly exhale for eight.
If holding your breath is uncomfortable, skip the hold. The numbers can also be adjusted to what feels comfortable for you. The goal is simply to make the exhale a little longer than the inhale.
As you breathe, notice whether your body feels even slightly different. There is no need to force relaxation.
2. STOP
The STOP technique is a simple way to pause and reconnect with the present moment:
S: Stop or pause.
T: Take a breath.
O: Observe. Notice sensations in your body, along with your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.
P: Proceed. Continue with greater awareness of what you are experiencing and what you need.
Even a brief pause can interrupt the automatic cycle of fear, tension, and reaction.
3. Letting Go of Unhelpful Words
Pain can bring up harsh words about ourselves or our bodies: broken, wrong, weak, damaged.
Notice what word arises for you when pain is present. Then gently ask:
Is there a more generous or supportive way I could describe what is happening?
You might replace “My body is broken” with “My body is having a difficult moment,” or “I am hurting right now.”
The goal is not to deny the pain. It is to notice whether the language we use toward ourselves is helping or adding to our distress.
4. How Would I Treat a Friend?
Imagine that someone you care about was experiencing the same pain you are experiencing.
How would you listen to them?
What would you say?
How would you show them patience and support?
Now consider whether you can offer yourself some of that same kindness.
Ask yourself: What is one small thing I can do for myself right now that I would do for a friend?
It might be resting, asking for help, taking a gentle walk, making an appointment with a health care provider, practicing a few breaths, or simply acknowledging that this is a hard moment.
Pain Awareness Month
Every September, Pain Awareness Month raises awareness about chronic and acute pain and the importance of effective pain management.
Pain can affect much more than the body. Chronic pain can interfere with sleep, work, relationships, mood, and everyday activities. Because pain affects people in different ways, effective care often involves more than one approach.
Depending on a person's needs, pain management may include:
Medical care, including medications, injections, or procedures
Physical and occupational therapy
Low-impact movement, such as walking or yoga
Mindfulness and meditation
Counseling and other forms of emotional support
There is no single approach that works for everyone. A health care professional can help determine what treatments and supports are appropriate for your situation.
A Little More Awareness, A Little More Kindness
Mindfulness and self-compassion may not take pain away. But they can change how we relate to it.
With practice, we can learn to notice difficult sensations without immediately adding fear, judgment, or predictions about what might happen next. We can make a little more space between the sensation of pain and the story we tell ourselves about it.
And sometimes, that small space gives us an opportunity to respond with a little more awareness, kindness, and care.
If you are experiencing new, severe, worsening, or unexplained pain, or symptoms that concern you, talk with a health care professional. Mindfulness can be a helpful complement to appropriate medical care, not a replacement for it.