Curiosity and Changing Habits

Article contributed by Sonya Connelly, Community Outreach Coordinator

Does anyone else have a habit they'd like to change? I have been working on trying to use my phone less, and it’s HARD! :) It's getting better (see previous email, "Mindfulness and Technology"), but I still find myself picking up my phone more than I'd like. 

Recently, I’ve realized that curiosity is one of the biggest things that can help me with this or any other habit I want to change.

I watched a TED Talk last week that helped me put this into words. It was by Dr. Judson Brewer, a leading expert in habit change and the “science of self-mastery.”

Here’s a simple but powerful idea from mindfulness that Dr. Brewer shared: curiosity can actually help us change habits, without relying on willpower alone. Whether it’s using our phone less, moving our body, improving relationships, curiosity can help us make changes.  

Here’s how mindful curiosity works when it comes to habits we’d like to shift:

Replace Willpower with Curiosity

Instead of forcefully resisting a habit, Dr. Brewer suggests leaning into curiosity: explore what actually happens when you engage in the habit—what you smell, taste, feel. 

In one study he conducted, smokers were encouraged to smoke mindfully, and they became so attuned to the unpleasant sensory experience—“smells like stinky cheese, tastes like chemicals”—for many, their cravings lost appeal.

Notice the Pattern

Habits often run on autopilot. When we pause with curiosity, we can ask, “What’s really happening here?” That question alone can start to shift things.

Create a Pause

When we get curious about an urge - What does it feel like? Where do I notice it in my body?—We create a pause, which makes room for new choices.

Replace Judgment With Insight

Instead of beating ourselves up (“Why do I always do this?”), curiosity invites us to look kindly: “Interesting... this shows up when I’m tired or overwhelmed.”  

Discover the Deeper Need

Many habits try to meet a need (comfort, relief, connection). Curiosity helps uncover that need so we can meet it in a healthier way.

This has been a game changer for me.  I'm realizing I can give myself what I need in other ways, which makes this habit of picking up my phone a less attractive distractor. 

Build Awareness Over Time

Every time we pause and get curious instead of going on autopilot, we strengthen our awareness—and that’s what really fuels lasting change.

Mindfulness doesn’t try to “fix” our habits—it helps us understand them. From that place, change becomes not only possible but more sustainable (and compassionate, too).

If you're experimenting with this or have a story to share, I’d love to hear it!